Give Me Your Hand by Megan Abbott

Released: 31st July 2018

Published by: Picador

Genre: Adult thriller

Source: Publisher

Pages: 339

My Rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

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Kit Owens harbored only modest ambitions for herself when the mysterious Diane Fleming appeared in her high school chemistry class. But Diane's academic brilliance lit a fire in Kit, and the two developed an unlikely friendship. Until Diane shared a secret that changed everything between them.

More than a decade later, Kit thinks she's put Diane behind her forever and she's begun to fulfill the scientific dreams Diane awakened in her. But the past comes roaring back when she discovers that Diane is her competition for a position both women covet, taking part in groundbreaking new research led by their idol.

Soon enough, the two former friends find themselves locked in a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse that threatens to destroy them both.

Thank you to Pan Macmillan Australia for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

Megan Abbott's latest psychological thriller firmly cements her position as a master of writing dark, addictive stories about the boundaries of friendships and what it takes to succeed. From Dare Me, The Fever, The End of Everything and You Will Know Me, I became enthralled by her intelligent, whip-smart prose and ability to capture the malignant undercurrents behind even the closest relationships. In Give Me Your Hand she has once again lifted the bar, this time bringing the drama into the scientific world, among the labs, burners and microscopes which hone in on what remains unseen with the naked eye. 

Sometimes it feels like life's about understanding how much opposites meet. Kill to cure, poison to immunize, sacrifice to save. 

Competition can be both a propellant to greatness, or lead to an all-consuming quest to be nothing but the best. It's always fascinating to see how Abbott brings in these elements of human nature, and pushes her characters to their limits. Kit and Diana had been best friends for years, driving each other in high school to always be at the top of their game, and reach the heights of the careers they had dreamed of. But Diana had always been an enigma at heart, the type of person one could admire until they saw that there was something ominous behind her pragmatic facade. There is some primal instinct that linked the main characters and their work, a force that was both brilliant and dangerous. As the novel switches between then and now, the contest to be on the research team reached unexpected twists that went further than I could have anticipated. I was totally gripped by the secrets revealed about not just these two, but everyone else working in lab G-21. In a Megan Abbott novel the suspense is always cleverly framed by the characters' vices and deepest flaws, revealed in elegant prose that pulses with tension and leaves you wanting more. 

When you're in the sciences, when you know about things like neuronal biochemistry and the complex interplay between, say, hormones and emotion, you might imagine you have a deep understanding of the mind. Explain to me why I feel this way, think this way, dream this way, am this way. But consider it: Would you really want to know? 

A good piece of writing can also require some solid research to back it up, and it's clear that Abbott has done the groundwork in this case. I may not know much about the sciences or PMDD, though I may have learnt a thing or two after reading this. The sterile setting of a science lab contrasting with the messy web of secrets, back-stabbing and cover-ups made for a winning combination. Far from the sports field, small-town gossip or world of elite gymnastics of her previous books, Give Me Your Hand feels more mature in this professional workplace context. Notably, she never loses sight of the people that these women were before they reached the pinnacle of their careers and how the experiences in their teens shaped who they would become. It is this depth of character development which is always a stand-out, and part of what makes Give Me Your Hand so compulsively readable.

But to understand, you need to see so much more. Because everything affects everything else. One small speck in one narrow recess and everything else is dark with its shadow. And working with Dr Severin, I know I'll see it all. And I'll be a part of the grander seeing, the illumination of darkness. The hand outstretched to all those women in the shadows. Come with me, come, come. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Give Me Your Hand is not a psychological thriller for the faint-hearted, but it's the most addictive one I've read in a long time. Smart, dark, and subtle in its revelations of the truth, as always I can't wait to see what Megan Abbott will write next.

Review: Joe Cinque's Consolation by Helen Garner - A True Story of Death, Grief and the Law

Joe Cinque's Consolation by Helen Garner

Released: 1st August 2004

Published by: Macmillan

Genre: True Crime

Source: Library

Pages: 328

My Rating: 5 of 5 stars

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In October 1997 a clever young law student at ANU made a bizarre plan to murder her devoted boyfriend after a dinner party at their house. Some of the dinner guests-most of them university students-had heard rumours of the plan. Nobody warned Joe Cinque. He died one Sunday, in his own bed, of a massive dose of rohypnol and heroin.


His girlfriend and her best friend were charged with murder. Helen Garner followed the trials in the ACT Supreme Court. Compassionate but unflinching, this is a book about how and why Joe Cinque died.

It probes the gap between ethics and the law; examines the helplessness of the courts in the face of what we think of as 'evil'; and explores conscience, culpability, and the battered ideal of duty of care. It is a masterwork from one of Australia's greatest writers.

Why wasn’t she down on her knees, grovelling for forgiveness? From the Cinques? From the whole human race? Begging for pardon, and with no sense that she was entitled to it, no expectation of ever receiving it? 

True crime isn't a genre I'd usually choose to read from, but when the opportunity arose to read this book for university, and knowing Helen Garner was a brilliant writer, my curiosity got the better of me. Joe Cinque's Consolation is by all accounts a harrowing read, and yet Garner has provided an insight into the trials of Anu Singh and Madhavi Rao over his death with a sensitivity that makes you feel all the anguish over what could have been...'if only'. It calls into question the morality of the justice system, the quest to make sense of a series of events which it seems could have been prevented on so many occasions, and the pain inflicted on the parents who will always carry the grief over the child they lost so devastatingly.

The fatigue after a long day in court was also a kind of gratitude, I had been granted the inestimable privilege of looking into other people’s lives. What I had found there had absorbed my intellectual and emotional attention for many hours. Unlike the Cinques, unlike the Singhs, I could walk away. 

One of the things I appreciated most about this work was how balanced Garner was in describing both the technicalities of the arguments brought forward by the Crown and the defence, alongside her own subjective views. Through her writing with observations into the legal processes, psychiatric analyses and gaps between hearings and sentencing, there is also an undercurrent of disillusionment and shock as to how the final verdict came to be. Even Justice Crispin's Freudian slip when he first mistakenly stated 'murder' instead of 'manslaughter' arguably indicates a sense of innate injustice. I too felt Garner's utter disbelief, though she also recognised that every element of the judgement was grounded in reason. But how does intellectual reasoning stand against the wrongful taking of a life? This is the anguish that plagues those left behind, and arguably is where the gaping chasm lies between morality and the law. 

She unfolded a tissue and held it to her mouth. She struggled to compose herself. I wanted to cry out with horror, and pity.

It's interesting how the law attempts to categorise social wrongs within neat parameters, with thresholds and rules that dictate the punishment to fit the crime. As Joe Cinque's Consolation proves however, the end result can appear manifestly inadequate. I suppose it's an ethical issue at heart, and one which the judges in positions of power do not take lightly. 'Duty of care' and 'diminished responsibility' are more than just pieces legalistic jargon; here their human impact is felt with full force. Helen Garner's journalistic merit cannot be underestimated on this point, as she looked at the effects of the trials on both the Cinque and Singh families, though she formed a closer relationship with the former. Of course, the most important voice in all of this always remains silent; that of the victim. But through Garner's recounts into the time spent with his family, we have a glimpse into the man Joe Cinque was and the profound suffering that his loved ones have endured. 

If memory is not to be trusted, what can courts rely on? How can they establish what ‘really happened’? How can things from the past, even the relatively recent past, be proved?

FINAL THOUGHTS

Joe Cinque's Consolation may be the first of Helen Garner's works I've read, but it certainly won't be the last. This book raises an array of important issues surrounding justice, the bounds of 'simple wickedness' and the continual struggle to vanquish an unfathomable tragedy. The message that came through which gives the most cause for reflection is that what is ‘just’ and what seems ‘fair’ are often two very different things.

Review: The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan - Life is too short for 'what could have been'

The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan

Released: 1st August 2015

Published by: Simon and Schuster

Genre: Short Stories/Essays

Source: Bought

Pages: 208

My Rating: 5 of 5 stars

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Marina Keegan's star was on the rise when she graduated from Yale in May 2012. She had a play that was to be produced at the New York International Fringe Festival and a job waiting for her at the New Yorker.

Tragically, five days after graduation, Marina died in a car crash. As her family, friends and classmates, deep in grief, joined to create a memorial service for Marina, her unforgettable last essay for the Yale Daily News, The Opposite of Loneliness, went viral, receiving more than 1.4 million hits. She had struck a chord.

Even though she was just 22 when she died, Marina left behind a rich, expansive trove of prose that, like her title essay, captures the hope, uncertainty and possibility of her generation. The Opposite of Loneliness is an assemblage of Marina's essays and stories that articulates the universal struggle we all face as we work out what we aspire to be and how we can harness our talents to make an impact on the world. 

Of course, there are things we wish we’d done: our readings, that boy across the hall. We’re our own hardest critics and it’s easy to let ourselves down. Sleeping too late. Procrastinating. Cutting corners. More than once I’ve looked back on my high school self and thought: how did I do that? How did I work so hard? Our private insecurities follow us and will always follow us.

The Opposite of Loneliness speaks to our generation of twenty-somethings who are trying to find their place in the world. Published in the wake of a tragedy, it's of course devastating to see a young life full of promise end far too soon. But there is some solace to be found in the fact that Marina's essays and stories live on, a testament to her writing which displayed an understanding of life well beyond her years.

But the thing is, we’re all like that…we have these impossibly high standards and we’ll probably never live up to our perfect fantasies of our future selves. But I feel like that’s okay. We’re so young. We’re so young. We’re twenty-two years old. We have so much time.

In reading this collection, I remember thinking to myself how true this is. Marina Keegan's words in the first essay capture exactly how it feels to be on the cusp of 'adult' life; restlessness, uncertainty, and a sense of urgency to do more. Be better. Thrive. As her mentor and professor at Yale Anne Fadiman wrote in the introduction, when deciding what the focus of her work would be, Marina "understood that there were few better subjects than being young and uncertain and starry-eyed and frustrated and hopeful.” Yet aside from the non-fiction, there is so much versatility in her writing, and her short stories also hold some memorable themes. In 'Cold Pastoralism' for example, the opening lines describe the awkward fragility of a relationship when the emotional investment is becoming all too real:

We were in the stage where we couldn’t make serious eye contact for fear of implying we were too invested. We used euphemisms like “I miss you” and “I like you” and smiled every time our noses got too close.

I can imagine that her personality shines in every sentence that she wrote, and where there is heartache in her stories there is also warmth and keen observations into what makes people tick. It is so relatable to come across a writer who was at the same crossroads in their lives, with a perfectionist streak alongside youthful idealism and vitality - though also so aware of their mortality. There's a sad irony in some sections of this book, reading about how the author had already envisioned some elements of her future, talking of the children she would have, and the successful career she was already on the path to attaining. In spite of it all, I think if you read The Opposite of Loneliness you'll find some comfort in its pages, and turn to look at the world with gratitude for the opportunities that will arise if you go to seek them. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Sometimes I'll pick up a book and know I've found it at just the right time in my life, especially when it contains the words that I need to hear. It's a well-worn aphorism, but life really is too short for 'what if', and 'what I could have done'. The Opposite of Loneliness brought this idea home for me, through the lens of a young writer who, had things been different, I'm sure would have gone to achieve even greater milestones.

We may not know exactly what our lives will look like a few years down the line, but who says we have to have all the answers right now? We are young. And there is hope that eventually, with some faith, resilience, a strong work ethic and positive attitude - we will get to where we want to be.

Waiting on Wednesday: Bookshop Girl

Waiting on Wednesday is a weekly meme hosted by Breaking the Spine where the participants tell their readers about an upcoming release they are looking forward to. This week I've picked Bookshop Girl by Chloe Coles.

A hilarious tale of female friendship, bookshops and fighting for a cause - perfect for fans of Holly Bourne and Louise Rennison.

Bennett's Bookshop has always been a haven for sixteen-year-old Paige Turner. It's a place where she can escape from her sleepy hometown, hang out with her best friend, Holly, and also earn some money. But, like so many bookshops, Bennett's has become a 'casualty of the high street' - it's strapped for cash and going to be torn down.

Paige is determined to save it but mobilising a small town like Greysworth is no mean feat. Time is ticking - but that's not the only problem Paige has.

How is she going to fend off the attractions of beautiful fellow artist, Blaine? And, more importantly, will his anarchist ways make or break her bookshop campaign?

As a bookseller, any plot that's even remotely bookish is bound to catch my eye! I love the sound of this cute and endearing story, which will hopefully go to show just how important bookshops are.

Releasing August 2018 from Bonnier

Discussion: Are We Masters of Our Time?

Days, years and decades march on; the beat of time ticking over the pace of our existence. But for the conspiracy theorists, the dreamers and even the skeptics among us, there is space to wonder whether our futures are truly set on such a linear path. Why do our personal histories seem to repeat themselves from one generation to another? Perhaps more importantly, are we really the master of our fates after all? Both the Netflix series ‘Dark’, and short story ‘Catapult’ by Emily Fridlund explore the topic of time travel to reveal how we cope with recurring patterns in our lives, and whether we will ever fully escape those inexplicable moments of déjà vu.

Produced and originally released in Germany last year, ‘Dark’ delves into the heart of these questions. This is one of the best pieces of foreign drama I've seen (though the gripping Cold War series 'Deutschland 83' is also well worth a watch). Atmospheric in its camera angles, the eerie melodies of the soundtrack and the entire situation its plot represents, I was hooked right from episode one. Set in the alternate periods of 2019, 1986 and 1953, strange goings-on in the small town of Winden reach fever pitch when the bodies of missing children are found with injuries that defy explanation. Its nuclear power plant dominates the landscape alongside the sinuous woods, though the darker energy permeating the storyline emanates from the characters themselves.

Life is a labyrinth. Some people wander around their whole lives looking for a way out, but there’s only one path and it leads you ever deeper. You don’t understand it until you’ve reached the centre. Death is incomprehensible, but you can make peace with it. Till then you should ask yourself each day if you’ve made the right decisions.
– ‘Dark’ Episode 5, ‘Truths’

There is a tempest brewing among both the teens and their parents as the fabric of time itself is stretched beyond its limits. In the first season that has been released so far, the ten episodes are all examples of exquisitely executed cinematography. A foreboding energy is created almost immediately, and when Mikkel goes missing, the son of a police detective working on the case, the drama begins to take its tightly woven form. Using particular songs in key scenes adds another layer of meaning, with the haunting tune of Agnes Obel’s ‘Familiar’ in episode three playing behind contrasting images of the characters in the past and present. From the depths of a murder investigation, to the inner workings of teenage love, the dangerous obsession within a covert affair and visionary realities of time travel, ‘Dark’ tackles moral ambiguity in all its cryptic forms.

All our lives are connected. One fate bound to another. Every one of our deeds is merely a response to a previous deed. Cause and effect. Nothing but an endless dance. Everything is connected to everything else.
– ‘Dark’ Episode 8, ‘So you sow, so you shall reap’

In ‘Catapult’, two teens plan to build a time machine in the midst of their summer break. Katie recalls this time with her boyfriend Noah as they embark on the plan while navigating the treacherous vicissitudes of a burgeoning relationship. Named by the pair as ‘A Hypothesis for Quantum Tunneling’, the couple hold a sense of superiority over others their age for conceiving such a significant idea. Katie comes to form an admiration for Noah with his ‘well organised heart’ and ‘mind full of unusual, ambitious thoughts which he daily cultivated and tended.’ 

Our pattern was fixed when we got to his house. We each ate a bowl of Cheerios in silence, and then we went to his room where we took off our clothes, very careful not to mention – or even affect to notice – that this is what was happening…Time got crinkled up, got sticky.
- 'Catapult'

However, just like the teens in ‘Dark’, there are hidden jealousies to be overcome within their dynamic, and beneath it all a plea ‘to save me from myself.' Whether they will settle for their relationship and follow its shaky blueprint or go their separate ways to find something even better, are decisions left to be made. 

Where this tv series and story intertwine is through the characters attempting to understand topics beyond the realm of comprehension. A quest to analyse the intricacies of time travel eventually morphs into the catalyst for an intrinsic search for meaning. Though often speaking in riddles, at some point these people all ask themselves the same question: What have I become, and when will I find my truth? The answers may be scattered somewhere in the events that time left behind, but the clearest solution to determining their fates is simply to find purpose in the here and now.